The Shift

I think there has been a shift the last couple of days, a shift in our family, in my beautiful daughter. Being pregnant with a four year old has been awesome, and no, I’m not saying that in a sarcastic way. Princess has understood everything from the get go, she gets that there is a baby in my belly, she gets that it moves around and she can feel it kick and it doesn’t freak her out. She lets me rest when she knows I am tired and sore, she cuddles me too to make me feel better. She guesses that it is a boy and knows why we didn’t find out the sex, she’ll even tell people “we don’t care, as long as it’s healthy”. She’s excited, so very excited, but over it too, you know nine months is a long time for a kid (and for me!).

Yesterday I dropped her at Kinder, just like I did the two previous days. Kinder days are getting longer and next week she will finally be doing her full hours. She is loving Kinder, I’m lucky to even get a kiss goodbye when I walk her in the door. Her teacher says she is very confident, happy and helpful, I knew she would be! But yesterday when I dropped her off, she didn’t want me to leave. It may have been because she had something in her eye and she was rubbing it, it was sore, but I think it was something different altogether. She ended up letting me leave, with no fuss, when the teacher grabbed her hand and everything was right in the world again. I left her knowing that her day would be fine but at that moment, I felt the shift.

Last night I went to the movies, and it happened again. Pleading, “Please don’t go Mummy, I love you, I don’t want you to leave”……. such a very odd to thing to hear from my girl who normally relishes spending alone time with her Dad and has never batted eyelid to either of us heading out the door. And there it is again, the shift.

This week has been FULL of people asking her about the baby, it’s nearly time you know?! Do you think it’s a boy or a girl, do you want a brother or a sister? What do you want to name it? She’s been bombarded with questions and statements and my gut is telling me that for her, it is finally starting to hit home that in a few short weeks things around here are going to change. She’s still excited, don’t get me wrong. But I have sensed a shift, and I think this is what has been behind it.

So for these next few weeks, we will go about things as we normally do but there will be more hugs and I love you’s (more so than the usual), and moments of time together. Yesterday we picnicked at the park, shared a milkshake at a cafe and talked about all sorts of things, I want to do these things with her, just like we always have. We can only prepare our girl so much, the main thing to me is that she knows she is loved and that will never change!!

How did your kids cope with a new addition to your family? Did you ever sense a shift? How did you best prepare them?

Bel x


15 thoughts on “The Shift

  1. Jess @ myheartisyourhome says:

    Oh Bel… I think phoebe is going to take to being a big Sister so beautifully well! Of course there will be a few anxieties and uncertainties… there always is with any change. But she is obviously a very kind hearted and beautiful little girl, she will love it!

    Evie has been talking about the baby a LOT these last few days, it has been making me feel like maybe she knows that baby is not far off at all. She keeps kissing my tummy and going into the babys room. She knows babys toys are for baby and not to take them out. She seems to have a very healthy understanding and respect for baby.

    I cannot wait to see our girls become big sisters!

    • amumsreality says:

      I was thinking that maybe Phoebe has a sixth sense, maybe she knows that this baby is closer than what we know!
      I think they will both be amazing sisters, but as you said there would of course be anxieties about the unknown and one day there will be sibling rivalry!
      You’ve made me feel better Jess x

  2. Brydie says:

    Ah I love this post, I can imagine everything you’ve described.
    Linky was too young to feel jealous when Flynn came along, but he did develop a closer bond with his dad because they were left alone together.

    I would be doing exactly what you’re doing. Including her, talking to her and spending time together. X

    • amumsreality says:

      Thanks Brydie. It’s hard to know as a Mum sometimes whether you are going about things the right way or the wrong way. I guess I just need to keep following my instincts and my heart x

  3. Mel says:

    Hi Bel, Phoebe will be an amazing sister but i do think it’s only natural for them to feel a little like ‘please just ask me about me as phoebe, not phoebe the big sister’ on the odd occasion 🙂 I guess it’s like us…we still like to be Bel or Mel & not always Michael or Brent’s partner or so on 🙂 Sometimes we just want it to be about doesnt mean we don’t love, adore or dote over the significant other person in our life…just sometimes we want ‘me time’. Amelia was only 2 when we had Kayla. It was when Kayla was 2 weeks old that Amelia had a week of slightly trying behaviour but then all back to normal. It is so nice to watch them play together now and how they both look out for each other. I can only hope that continues and for your two cherubs too. xxx

  4. Liz says:

    Hmmm. Wrote a big reply and its disappeared. Alyssa got a anxious in the weeks/days before Noah was born. She was younger than Phoebe but still had an idea of what was going on. We found that some of her anxiety that we just couldn’t settle was her not knowing when it was going to happen, if I was going to be there after school or there when she woke up in the morning. I ended up being induced which gave her a time when she knew she was going to nana’s and knew the next time she would see me was with her baby brother. But honestly until then the little bit of anxiety stayed. You are on the home stretch bel. Not long left.

    • amumsreality says:

      You are right Liz! Phoebe has started to ask a few questions about the actual ‘day’ which I have tried to answer as best I could. We are not sure whether to tell her we are going to the hospital or not as yet. The fear of the unknown! x

  5. Dre says:

    Sounds like you are handling things perfectly Bel! Enjoy these last few special weeks with Phoebe before bubs arrives!
    We had a talking Jessie doll (from Toy Story) wrapped up to give Ruby from Evie when she came to meet her at the hospital and a book called ‘Im a big sister’. When Evie looked at Ruby I would say “she loves you”, “she wants to be like you” and “you can teach her things”. This helped Ruby feel important and she dotes over Evie who is almost 6months. The first couple of weeks she wanted more cuddles and attention etc. mostly whenever I was holding or nursing Evie. I tried made sure she still had plenty of Mum time and cuddles.
    I’m sure Phoebe will make a fantastic big sister and she will be a great help with bubs. x

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