I love to capture moments in time, I often share them here. I love to look back on the many photos I take, they can evoke such memories and feelings about that day, that minute, that hour, the lead up to it and what happened afterwards. A picture really can tell a thousand words can’t it? On the weekend I spent time capturing more moments in time, and for once, I set the camera up, took a test shot and asked Hubby to take a photo of Ragamuffin and I………
……. that photograph wont be posted here, because, for me, when I looked at it, I didn’t see me, I didn’t see me at all. The way I looked in that photograph and the many others he took seconds afterwards showed a woman who I didn’t recognize, her body, her clothes, the dull look in her eyes ……. it wasn’t me at all, but in fact it was me, it is me, because lets face it, pictures capture moments in time, and he captured mine.
Tonight I finally start at the Gym, it has been a long process in joining (not on my end though!) and I’m looking forward to it. I have never been an exercise kind of person, I had one gym membership previously that I never used (my panic attacks played a small part in it but I take responsibility for the rest). But this time I feel different…… I want to go, I want to love it, I want to do it for me, for him, for the kids!! Before I joined, I mapped out times I could go each day, and have even worked out babysitters for the kids, there will be no excuses and if there is, I have to not along explain them to myself but the people helping me out with the kids!! Good plan eh?
I’m scared though, scared all the work that I am wanting to put in it wont change anything, because at the end of the day, I have those weird food aversions to fruit, and salad, and some vegies, so really, how healthy can I eat? How much can I change? And how much of a difference will it make? (If you know how to overcome them, shoot me an email, please!!). But despite my fear, I’m still willing to give it a go, I have faith that some things may change and that one day really soon I wont be afraid to ask for a photo with my children and I will recognize the woman staring back at me from it.
So wish me luck! Throw me some advice to if you will xx