A problem has emerged

DSCN0226This photo of Hubby and I was taken in 2007, we were trying to conceive Princess then but it didn’t happen until much much later in the year.

DSCN1710This photo was taken five months after I had Princess at my best friends wedding.

20130610-_DSC0143And this one was taken this year, three months after Ragamuffin arrived (obviously because I’m carrying him!).

This afternoon while Princess, Ragamuffin and my Nephew slept, I began organising photos from last year and this into my yearly highlights photo book. And I noticed something quite quickly from those photographs of the last two years, there are barely, if any, of me at all, either alone, with Hubby or with the kids.

The way I feel about myself and the way I look seems have snowballed into other areas. The way I see myself on the back of the camera, I now realise I haven’t liked in a long time, I thought it was just the past couple of years. Looking back at these three photos though, I realise that back then I should have totally been loving myself and my body sick!! I mean look at me, I was kinda hot if I do say so myself, and with a cracking body to match.

I’ve been going to gym minimum three times a week, mainly I go four. I have been working on my cardio and I have already noticed a big difference in my fitness level…. I actually rode a bike around the caravan park the other week, which I haven’t done since I was a teen. I also do my weights program too, which I am actually really loving. My weight has not shifted a single bit, not even a hundred grams, but I have lost 5cms off my arms and thighs, and a little off my stomach. I’m feeling proud of my new found fitness, and getting there with loving my body and new shape.

But how I see myself and the way I look, doesn’t matter one little bit to my kids. I’m sure of it! They just want their Mum to be around and to make memories with them. Memories which can also be seen in our photobooks, which I am currently not in!! So over the Christmas period, no matter what I feel when I see the image flash back on me on the camera screen, I’m going to make a concerted effort to get in front of the camera rather than standing behind it all the time. I want my kids to be able to look back at those books when they are older and see me in them too.

Are you with me?

Bel x

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12 thoughts on “A problem has emerged

  1. I got really upset the other week when I was searching for some photos for a blog post and couldn’t find any with me in them! Especially upset that there was none of me & the little man when he was first born. I’m just always on the other side of the camera, I’m the one who takes the photos…I’m with you on making more of an effort from now on to get in the photos. And you’re right, your kids don’t care how you look (but FYI you look great anyway!)

    • It’s really isn’t a nice feeling looking back and it’s kind of like you didn’t exist. I have quite a few of you and your little man, I’ll hunt some down in the coming weeks x

  2. I’m so with you here! Never in photos coz I hate them of myself, plus I jump on my high horse and think my photos are better than other peoples. Conceited I know!! Need to be in more I think

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  4. Oh I’m sooooo with you. I take a LOT of photos so I’m hardly ever in any of them. And when I am, I don’t like what I see – not so much my shape/size, but it’s my face … I always expect my face to look like it did when I was 18, yet I’m 44 and look that – and more. So photos of myself, gah, uncomfortable. I guess I really, really need to get over being so vain, hmmm? 😦

    • I was in a heap of photos this weekend and when I looked back at them, I looked past what I actually ‘looked’ like and focused on the memory and the feeling….it then changed the way I saw myself in that picture and I loved them xx

  5. Pingback: Pictures of you, pictures of me | Life at no. 2

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