In my dreams

I had a dream the other night that it was my fortieth birthday (don’t stress folks, still a way off) and the major celebration entailed a trip to Bali….with just a group of girlfriends. A few days of shopping and the hustle and bustle in Kuta, followed by a relaxing week in our own private villa in Ubub. Detailed dream eh? I know!

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The whole going to Bali thing isn’t something new to me, I’ve done it many times before, even Princess ventured with us the last time we went at a wee eighteen months old. But since the first time I went, my love for flying died and was replaced with the feeling of anxiousness and panic attacks mid-flight.

When I woke from the dream the other night, it was something I felt excited about, something that I could now see myself doing. I think it is a reflection of my year and the direction I have been heading lately. Yes, I’m still a planner, yes, I still suffer from panic attacks and am by nature anxious, and yes, I’m still not a massive fan of flying, but this year have seen me start to step out of my comfort zone and embrace the person I am.

I’m starting to believe in myself and not let what others think and say effect me and my thoughts as much as they previously would. I’m beginning to stand up for myself rather than being the introvert who overthinks everything I’ve started to have my say, even if it does take a lot of gearing up and extreme butterflies. I’m doing things that would normally make me feel uncomfortable, like taking photos on the side of the road and walking into op-shops (I have some weird fears guys, weird!).

Who knows whether the Bali birthday girls trip will ever eventuate, only time will tell, but hey, it’s nice to dream a little in life and set ourself some goals out of our comfort zone, don’t cha think?

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