Eldest Child

This girl of mine, she amazes me everyday, every, single, day! Everyday she learns something new, every, single, day. She has become so fiercely independent, and it’s awesome, but it’s also not. Over the weekend at our caravan, I felt like I didn’t see her at all, she was off playing and exploring with the other van-kids. My, not-so-baby anymore, she was off on her own (albeit with a walkie talkie strapped to her side so we could contact her when needed, and she was a two second walk away) and for a moment, I felt as though I was loosing her.

Life at no2

But at the end of the day, she curled up on my lap, she told me all the things that happened and all that she did. She asked me so many questions, some inquisitive and some just plan old random. She still asked me to tickle her back, and to tuck her in and sing her ‘sailing’. And in the morning, she still snuck into my bed, and moulded herself against my body, her breath slowing again as she drifted back off to sleep, her arms and legs entwined in mine. And then I realised, no matter how independent she becomes, she will always come back to me, she will never be lost to me, never.

And so I will continue to foster her independence, help her build her confidence, resilience, strength and compassion…and I will watch on as she continues to grow, and then I will wait, wait for her to turn and come back to me.


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