Last year I wrote about why I thought being in my thirties has been the best time in my life. But really, it’s probably been the last two years that I have noticed the biggest shift in me. At the start of last year I made a goal for myself to start speaking up more often. I’ve never really been one to stand up for myself, or involve myself in a situation where conflict may occur. I’ve not really had the confidence to do it and I always seem to worry about the repercussions of doing so. So goal set, challenge accepted.
I guess I probably started off small, speaking up if I didn’t agree with something or asking more questions so that I could understand someone else point of view. My family, sister and Mum were probably initially my guinea pigs, my way of easing into speaking up, because let’s face it, at the end of the day that can’t really disown me can they!?
Since then though, I’ve made a bit of a rule for myself; if I speak to more than one person about an issue I’m having, am upset with, disagree with, or don’t understand, then clearly it is bothering me so I need to speak up.
Sometimes I shock myself when I do it, and some people who have known me for a long time are initially taken aback. My heart stills pounds a million miles an hour and I usually rehearse what Im going to say in my head long before I speak the words. And I know that my cheeks still blush crimson (even more so than usual).
Sometimes things work out like I plan, I get my point across and things change. Other times that is not the case, but you know what? I always feel better for having had my say, putting my cards out on the table for everyone to see.
Are you one to speak up or do you lack the confidence like I did?