Last year I wrote about why I thought being in my thirties has been the best time in my life. But really, it’s probably been the last two years that I have noticed the biggest shift in me. At the start of last year I made a goal for myself to start speaking up more often. I’ve never really been one to stand up for myself, or involve myself in a situation where conflict may occur. I’ve not really had the confidence to do it and I always seem to worry about the repercussions of doing so. So goal set, challenge accepted.
I guess I probably started off small, speaking up if I didn’t agree with something or asking more questions so that I could understand someone else point of view. My family, sister and Mum were probably initially my guinea pigs, my way of easing into speaking up, because let’s face it, at the end of the day that can’t really disown me can they!?
Since then though, I’ve made a bit of a rule for myself; if I speak to more than one person about an issue I’m having, am upset with, disagree with, or don’t understand, then clearly it is bothering me so I need to speak up.
Sometimes I shock myself when I do it, and some people who have known me for a long time are initially taken aback. My heart stills pounds a million miles an hour and I usually rehearse what Im going to say in my head long before I speak the words. And I know that my cheeks still blush crimson (even more so than usual).
Sometimes things work out like I plan, I get my point across and things change. Other times that is not the case, but you know what? I always feel better for having had my say, putting my cards out on the table for everyone to see.
Are you one to speak up or do you lack the confidence like I did?
Life at no. 2 
Yeah, I’m a speak up kind of gal. I think it’s better to have things out in the open and to look for solutions.
I’m starting to see things that way, I’d rather speak up than stew on it and get myself all worked up
I’ve was always one to speak up, until a life change meant a change in confidence levels, now some 8 years later, I am finding that old confidence again and enjoying the benefits. xx
I’m glad your finding your voice again Nicole x
I’m not really a speak up person, but my seven year old son is teaching me to be! That kid will always ask for help (politely) when looking for something in a store, has no bones about asking about items on menus and engaging with waitresses and waiters and if he ever sees anyone who looks like they might remotely need help, he bounds over and asks. I think it’s a lovely thing (as long as it doesn’t get too out of hand!)
Yes! My daughter is the same, she’s also seven but she’s definitely my confidence role model
Yes and no. It depends what it is and if it counts. Sometimes I’ll speak before I even think about it. Other times I’ll hold back. It depends on if it’s worthwhile.
I’m the same Jess, it’s a bit of a pick your battle type thing isn’t it? Sometimes I let go, but if I find myself stewing or getting upset then it’s time to speak up.
I try so hard most of the time to not speak up. Especially in really controversial situations. I did once one a conversation around the dinner table at my in-laws, I already had a rocky relationship with my father-in-law and he asked me a question and I knew that there was no right answer unless I went with his. I couldn’t he wasn’t being rational and well he is a bigot. The conversation didn’t end well, I shouted he screamed and abused me to get out of his house i was never welcome again (perfect we had been married just over a yr and have the only grandson to carry on the family name) and then he physically abused me. I was the one who rang an apologised the next day for how I spoke not my opinion. Things were never ever the same (not that they were great to start with.) For so many reasons we don’t see him anymore at all. This sticks with me today (15yrs later) and I always in the back of my mind remember than and think that I need to always be very careful when speaking up.
I grew up in a family where we would be able to have robust discussions about lots of things, so to see such a different environment was like moving to mars really.
These days if I find there is something that really stirs my belly I will rant on my blog mainly because so few of my family read it lol, and it gets it out of my head.
Like you, I really started speaking up more when I got into my thirties. I definitely have more confidence now than in my twenties.
Yes! Definitely more confidence! I’ve started to care less about what others think of me that’s for sure x